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Are You Being STINGY With Your Compliments?

August 07, 2018 5 Comments

Are You Being STINGY With Your Compliments?

The other day I was at a cashier paying and I noticed that the young woman was not looking at me instead she was looking down. I thought it was odd and started feeling a bit insecure wondering what was causing her strange behavior. Then a little embarrassed she said, "I love your nails! After saying "thank you" I smiled to myself all the way back to the car. 
In a moment, I went from feeling uncomfortable to smiling and feeling good all because of a compliment. As it turns out compliments have power.

I don’t know about you, but when I need a boost I often remember a compliment someone gave me. Someone else’s words seem to have more power than my own positive banter. I’m incredibly grateful for those words.

When I started designing my line I always wore the item, be it a scarf, coat, or piece of jewelry out to see if people liked it. The test was simple; did it get compliments? If yes, I knew I had something, if not I had to go back to the drawing board. It works every time!

When I feel something complimentary about someone I don’t always express it. If it can make someone feel good I’m not certain why I don’t. I feel like I am being stingy. There were times when I actually felt that I didn’t want to give the compliment because if I did I would lose something. I have no idea what or why.

The definition of stingy is: unwilling to share or give. The definition of generous is giving more than is required or expected.

The more I thought about it I realized it made absolutely no sense to keep the compliment to myself. If receiving a compliment can make me feel so good then why wouldn’t I return the favor? It isn’t like I would be saying something that isn’t true, quite the contrary, I’d just be expressing something that I was thinking and not saying.

I just needed to remember the smile and the warm feeling I got every time someone reached out and made me feel noticed. That’s what made the decision to never keep a positive thought to myself easy to keep.

It has been several years since I made the decision. If I’m thinking something positive I just express it, no matter to whom or what. May I say, no one has ever complained about getting a compliment.

What you don’t realize until you do it is that giving a compliment is as wonderful as receiving one, who knew! Every time I give a compliment I feel good! It’s that simple. So what was I afraid of?

What about you? 
Are you stingy with your compliments? Or is it just me?
Do you feel by being generous you’re losing something?

I'm curious what do you think. I'd love to hear!
Tell us what was the last compliment you gave?  
 




5 Responses

Adeline Olmer
Adeline Olmer

August 08, 2018

The last compliment I gave was the other day. I was in a store and saw a woman wearing a dress that was so bright and colorful I loved it. It wasn’t run-of-the-mill, a bit daring and very summery. I felt happy just looking at her and I told her so.

Zoe and Jane, I’m so glad you liked it!

Adeline Olmer
Adeline Olmer

August 08, 2018

Betsy Robinson, I love the fact that you go as far as writing a letter to say thank you. I’ve never done that, but thanks to your suggestion I will!
Thanks -Adeline

Zoe Greenberg
Zoe Greenberg

August 08, 2018

I totally agree. It is the nicest thing for someone to complement your hair or the new top that you’re wearing or your style. I need to remember to give that boost to others more often. Thanks for the reminder.

Jane
Jane

August 08, 2018

Love this post! I know the feeling when I think to say something to someone but then I just don’t. I’ve no idea why I don’t want to but I will next time! The last complement I gave was this morning actually a woman walking her dog passed me on the sidewalk and I just said, great dress! She smiled. 😀

Betsy Robinson
Betsy Robinson

August 08, 2018

Lovely blog, Adeline. Before I could articulate why, I’ve always given compliments the minute they’ve popped into my head. And later, when I grew up and started writing, I began sending letters to authors every time I read a book I loved. To me it feels like reciprocation—I’ve been given something by people, be it beauty, art, skill, etc., and giving a compliment is saying “thank you.”

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